How to Raise Conscious Children
The other day my son came home from getting a haircut and rushed into my arms and started crying. This is not uncommon in my home as both of my children are highly sensitive empaths.
My first thought was that he must not have liked his haircut. However, as I held a safe space for him to talk, he shared what was really going on. His sudden upset had nothing to do with his haircut. Rather, his story was a very classic example of a highly sensitive child responding to outside energies.
The goal with conscious parenting is to encourage our children to stay open and remain authentic as much as possible. So much of my time as an adult has been spent healing my inner child and re-awakening all the parts of myself that have been shut down over the years.
Wouldn’t it have been so much easier if I didn’t have to go back and uncover all my lost and hidden gifts? I can’t help but think how much better our society would be as a whole without so much inherited challenges.
I’ve navigated the world as a highly sensitive person and empath and I’m committed to helping others understand these gifts. I have hope for the future and believe strongly in our children’s ability to bring forward a better tomorrow.
As a mother to two of these special beings and a children’s energy healer, I’m sharing the wisdom these experiences have brought me. In this blog, you’ll learn how to raise conscious children and the most impactful ways to support highly sensitive and empath children.
10 Conscious Parenting Tips to Support Highly Sensitive AND/OR Empath Children
#1 Create a Safe Space
As a conscious parent, it is vital that your child feels that you are a safe person for them to talk. In addition, the home and more importantly their room should feel like a safe refuge from the world.
One of my clients revealed a story about her son sharing some pretty uncomfortable things that had happened at school. He had witnessed classmates and “friends” sharing inappropriate videos and now he had lots of questions.
She told herself not to react but to remain neutral and calm as he shared. Because she didn’t freak out or judge, she ensured her child that she was a safe person to talk to and now he will continue to come to her with questions in the future because of her intentions.
This is a foundational step to conscious parenting. If we react and respond in a perceived negative way from the child we will lose our safety status and the child will shut down. Without openness from your child and a safe space to play, then it is difficult to grow in a positive way.
#2 Hold Space
The most powerful parenting tool we have is our ability to hold space. This technique sounds easy but there is far more going on beyond simply listening to your kid talk.
Holding space is about deeply listening without judgment. It’s about holding them energetically in a way that they feel heard, seen, and loved.
Ultimately, it is all about presence. As a conscious parent, we must let go of all the other things going on around us and be able to sit in total presence with our child especially when they need us most.
Many of my own childhood traumas come from a lack of presence from my parents. Many child empaths develop deep wounds because they didn’t receive love from their parents (not in the way that they most needed).
#3 Empower You Kids
“What do you think?”
You aren’t giving up parental control by empowering your child to think for themselves, but rather raising a very emotionally stable and mature being.
When my kids come to me with “problems” I try to repeat back to them what they told me (this verifies that they were properly heard as well as helps them reflect on the situation) and then instead of offering a solution, I ask them – “What do you think you should do?”
This gives them permission to use their own intuition. It also gives them confidence in themselves and their own decision-making abilities.
These are vital skills to develop for any human being. Many adults are still trying to strengthen these skills. What a wonderful opportunity to give your child a stable foundation for their future.
#4 Honor their Intuition
Too many of us lost trust in our intuitive abilities long ago and it takes a lot of work to regain that trust to get it back. We are born with naturally strong and clear intuition but we are taught not to trust it.
Help your child trust their intuition by pointing out when they are correct and giving them praise when they recognize it for themselves.
My kids often say things like “I knew it!” or “I had a feeling that was going to happen.” Instead of shutting them down or brushing it off – build them up and congratulate them on this recognition.
Kids love to play the game – guess what? Parents (self included) find it highly annoying, but it is actually fantastic for strengthening intuition. It gives the guesser an opportunity to use their intuition to guess the answer vs their mind.
Other guessing games like charades is fantastic for this too. If the players are super insync and tuned in to each other they will often guess the correct answer before anything has been acted out.
Like so many gifts, telepathy comes naturally to children. I’ve noticed my daughter singing a song to herself randomly that happened to be the exact song I had in my head moments before.
By recognizing your child’s intuition and helping them honor it – you are changing the paradigm and building their trust in their own intuition.
#5 Help them Discern
Children in particular are impressionable due to their innocents. They haven't developed discernment and automatically believe most things that they are told to be true.
That’s why any role that helps to shape a child such as a parent or teacher is so important!
My son had a teacher in elementary school who constantly told the class that they were the worst class she had ever taught. The students heard the message that they were bad repeatedly.
An adult could hear this message and maybe see how the teacher was operating from a wounded space and a fear of losing control of the classroom. A child, however, simply believes the words at face value.
Thus, it’s important to help them develop their discernment by asking them lots of self reflecting questions like…
“What do you think about that?”
“What is the truth of this situation?”
The skill of discernment will be an ongoing muscle for them to build but think of how much better off they will be in the world with this basic understanding in place.
#6 Normalize their gifts
When my son was a toddler, I have distinct memory of putting him to bed one evening. As I tucked him in, he thanked God for the wonderful day he had, and he was extra thankful for his new friends.
Curious, I asked about who his new friends were and in reply he smiled and pointed to an empty corner of his bedroom. I suggested his friends were his stuffed animals in his toy box and he shook his head, no and continued to smile at the “nothingness” behind me.
At the time, this spooked me and I promptly kissed him goodnight and left the room.
It’s very common for children to use their spiritual gifts, but because I had shut mine down and was not open to understanding them at the time, he could sense that it was not ok to use those gifts. He didn’t want to make mommy uncomfortable.
This is a very common scenario but if I had been awake at the time, I wouldn’t have shut down his abilities but encouraged them.
Today if one of my children says something unusual, I say.. “That’s really interesting.. tell me more!”
Not too long ago my son and I had a wonderful conversation about dragons. He could describe his dragon in detail and knew his name. I was able to normalize the entire conversation.
You don’t have to believe what they are telling you to be true but be open to the idea that they are having a very real experience.
#7 Encourage Creativity, Imagination, and Play
Imagination is vital for intuition.
This is another thing children do really well naturally, but it is far more difficult for adults to tap into. As an Intuitive Healer, I encourage my clients to spend a lot of time imagining things in great detail.
In today’s modern society, it’s all too easy to offer a kid a tablet or phone to entertain them when they complain about being bored. My favorite response to this complaint is “Good! Boredom is the canvas for inspiration. I’m sure you’ll come up with a fantastic idea soon!”
I also offer lots of opportunities to express creativity in various ways such as easily accessible art supplies, cookbooks, and science experiments.
Tablets aren’t all bad – my children created their own marvels superhero movie and recorded it on their tablets – adding music and graphics. I don’t even know how they did it but it was undeniably creative.
Unique invitations for play always come up in my intuitive child’s healing sessions as supportive resources for children to cope. It’s without a doubt, a very healthy avenue for the whole family to explore.
#8 Embodiment
When my children are upset or triggered, one of the first questions I ask them is to tell me where they feel it in their body.
By asking them to tune into their body – this helps them to come back into the body and out of the head. It helps them ground and brings them back to presence.
When triggered, it is usually the mind that is causing all the drama, and it is difficult to understand the root of the issue from the head space but if we can tune into the body, we can uncover some answers.
My daughter was really upset before bed one evening and had gotten herself rather worked up to the point that she didn’t really even know why she was so sad. We did a little breathing together. I asked her to take deep breaths with me and I counted as she exhaled slowly.
Intentional breathing is a wonderful embodiment practice and works great for both adults and kids when triggered.
After her central nervous system had calmed from the breathing technique, I asked her to tune into her body and she was able to tell me where she hurt and why. We were able to have a really grounded conversation about the topic and she felt much better in minutes.
Other wonderful embodiment practices for kids are any type of movement – jumping on a trampoline, jumping jacks, shaking to name a few. Kids are naturally high energy and active so encouraging them to move their body helps balance and release energy before it explodes out of them.
#9 Honor their Emotional Needs
Let’s face it – if you have a highly sensitive child or empath they are likely highly emotional. They feel BIG emotions and everything is intense.
Giving them permission to feel whatever is coming up for them is healthy. Unfortunately, we have a lot of social programming that suggests otherwise and it is challenging to navigate especially if you have false beliefs of your own you haven’t released.
Remember my story about my son coming home from the barber crying?
He was feeling some overwhelming emotions that were triggered from a commercial that played on the TV while he got his hair cut. The scary movie preview shocked my highly sensitive kiddo into a state of terror in instant.
Highly sensitive children and empaths are FAR more likely to be affected by outside energies. Empaths feel everything at heightened states. So, while the movie trailer may have intrigued someone else, it was downright traumatic for my son.
My husband could see the tears swell up in my son’s eyes and knew exactly why he was feeling upset, but remained silent, resisting the urge to command him how to feel. Especially men have some deep programming from a collective believe that it is not OK to show any emotion.
I’m proud of my son because shortly after that terrifying scene flashed before his eyes, he collected himself and then turned around to ask the barber to please shut off the TV. At age 10, he was already unapologetically asking for what he needs. The barber happily obliged and finished his hair cut.
Later, when the emotions rose up again within him, we let him feel them fully. It’s important to release emotions so that they do not get trapped within the body, which can lead to all kinds of physical and emotional problems later on.
Of all the tips I’ve shared today, this one is the most challenging for me. Too often have I said “don’t cry” as a natural response to when my kids do cry. Or “you’re alright” when they have clearly fallen and cut their knee.
Why do we say such things?
This is the power collective programming has on us. Any time we find trouble following through on one of these tips, there is usually an opportunity to heal something within ourselves. Which leads me to my last tip!
#10 Role Modeling
Never underestimate the power you have as a role model. I have released numerous false beliefs that I inherited from my parents.
My mother unconsciously modeled that she had to be perfect. She did it in the way that she wouldn’t allow anyone in the house unless it was clean and tidy. It was impressed upon me as I watched her apply makeup to take out the garbage.
Children are very observant. They pick up on far more than we give them credit for and even if we think we are careful to hide certain aspects of ourselves, they can still feel the energy. There is no hiding from these powerful souls.
Did my mother mean for me to inherit any of these beliefs? No, she likely wasn’t even aware she had them herself, which is why we serve our children best by working on ourselves.
Our children are not subject to influence only from negative sources but positive ones as well. Watching a parent model what it looks like to be healthy, emotionally mature, aware, and present has HUGE impact on your child.
Even if you aren’t seeing a difference right away, it will impact them in the long run. Because of your conscious parenting, they won’t have as many layers of their own to heal.
As you grow and heal and become more conscious, so will they. It’s a beautiful evolution to witness and a challenging path to walk at times, but now you have conscious parenting tips to help you support your highly sensitive and/or empath children. It’s encouraging to look to the future when we have set our kids up for success in all the ways that really matter in life.
To understand more about empaths, I invite you to receive my free workshop where I share more resources and wisdom on how to thrive with this gift.
